we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
