This girl is more easily done than said...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want her autograph on my taint
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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