Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
