It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
