I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you would pick up someone in the library
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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