He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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