just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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