; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
