I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
