i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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