Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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