He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
