wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
