Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
