I'm going to jail i love you
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
