if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
