i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize