At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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