what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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