I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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