wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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