I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
