i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
