awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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