i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize