my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
