What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
