Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need water and some morals
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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