New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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