But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
