Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
