dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
