So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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