awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
