I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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