hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You made out with two different species that night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
