You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize