..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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