I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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