I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
