Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
