How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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