I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
