the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
