i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
