Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize