He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
