I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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