You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize