i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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