Too much gin, very little bucket
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
