Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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