i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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