just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
