there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
