making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
