My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
