somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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