my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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