I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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