her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
