What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
